


The Minecraft Mafia

by AgenderLesbian



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Herobrine attempts key word attempts to parent all the mafia., Multi, herobrine is a mafia leader, idkhowtodothisplssavemeidkhowmyfirsteverfanficendedupbeingminecraftbutitdidplshelp, mafia, minecraft mafia au????, most of the mobs are teens., thats about it dudes, the mobs are mafia members, they break the law., this is a minecraft mafia au.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-20 06:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19987600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgenderLesbian/pseuds/AgenderLesbian
Summary: the mobs are mafia members. they fuck shit up. herobrine is,,, a mafia leader sooo, herobrine.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: WANTED

A group of people walking through a destroyed and carnage-filled town, look over at a wooden fence. a list of wanted posters stapled to it, a description of actions that deemed them ‘wanted’ beneath a picture of them.

Creeper: Wanted for bombings of government facilities and many civil locations. Member of the Minecraft mafia.

Enderman: Wanted for unlicensed destruction of government facilities, and buildings in civil areas. Member of the Minecraft mafia.

Ghast: Wanted for tear gas bombings of government facilities and civil locations. Member of the Minecraft mafia.

Blaze: Wanted for many instances of pyromancy. Member of the Minecraft mafia.

Skeleton twins: wanted for armed shootings of government facilities and public areas. Members of the Minecraft mafia.

Slime duo: wanted for the flattening of government and public buildings. Members of the Minecraft Mafia.

Zombie: wanted for suspicion of cannibalism. And breaking into homes and government facilities. Member of the Minecraft mafia.

“Huh. guess they don't even know who our leader is.” a girl with a large black hat smirks some bottles on her belt jingling together as she looks back. “Aint that neat herobrine?”

“It is… good. The longer they don't know who I am, The easier this will be.” a man with pure white eyes smiles and turns to walk away-

“What the fuck! Why am I not on here!” a scandalized voice screeches, “I am so much stronger than my little sib!”

“Oh shut up dragon butt.” a tall guy walks over and starts dragging the other back to the group. “you’re just angry cuz you didn't get to find out what the gov’ though of you.”

“DAMN RIGHT I AM WHITHER!! IM FUCKING BADA-” the scream was quickly silenced by a piece of tape slapped over the offender's mouth.  
“Shut the fuck up, before I knock you out.” the pupilless man stared down at the other.

“MMHM!”

The rest of the large group laughed and carried on. Oddly delighted on seeing the bounty on their heads.


	2. the police station

\--- a couple months later ---

“Hey-o blasty butt!” a tall androgynous person leans over a grey couch poking the only occupant in the face.

“Get the fuck away from me Erin.” the girl dressed all in green said, heh leg bouncing a thousand miles a minute. causing her, and the whole couch to vibrate.

“Ooo! Looks like Cassandra's in a mood! What happened this time?” the person jumped over the side of the couch and plopped beside their friend.

“Herobrine happened.” she turned to Erin. “can you BELEIVE the fucker told me I was bad at my damn job! Again! Like, bitch shut the fuck up. I am literally the best bomber in the whole goddamn country! Probably the world! With how fast I am at getting out last minute to I look like a suicide bomber! But guess what bitch! I live! Every. single. fucking. Time. and he has the audacity! To tell me! I'm a NOVICE!” Cassandra flails her arms around and expression of pure rage fills her face, before she excels and once again looks downtrodden.

“I swear if that fucker wasn't out leader,” Erin puts their hand on Cassandra's shoulder. “I would have torn him apart like I did that apartment building last week.”

“Aww! Thanks, Erin!” she smiled at her friend.

“Any way! Come on. Let's go blow some shit up. Some people a couple of towns over were rude to my big bro and now I got to do the dirty work. But I think you need the venting more than I do.”

“Hell yeah! Lets trash em!”

\--- in town ---

Two police officers were walking through the street near Erin and Cassandra. They both just happened to be on the Minecraft mafia case... 

“Seriously steve. how can you be so deluded as to believe we could catch some of the most deranged, insane, and violent mafia me-”

“Alex! Look!” steve cuts off his partner and points at Erin and Cassandra. “It’s Creeper and Enderman!”

“Holy fuck we need to call for back up!”

\--- once in custody. ---

“La-di-di-da! La-la-la! Didildy-Didldydoo~!!” Cassandra sang out into the questioning room.

“Are you sure this isn’t just a random girl with green hair?” Alex asks steve, visibly perplexed by her behavior.

“Yes? I mean she did confirm it when asked?” Steve responds, wondering the same thing.

Cassandra had quieted when they started talking. Listening. A couple of moments later she began.   
“You know, you really should have frisked me while you had the chance.” She stood up dropping the handcuffs that previously had been attached to her wrists onto the table, a smirk growing on her face.

She reached into her bomber jacket and pulled out a bomb. She stuck onto the wall, her smirk growing.

“ARE YOU SUICIDAL? Kid if that goes off its gonna kill us all!” steve panicked trying to open the door and banging on the glass.

“I knew you all were fucking insane. But, I didn't think you were fucking stupid!” Alex collapsed onto the ground pulling on her ginger hair.

Cassandra burst out laughing. “You really think I'm gonna die in this? Hah! That’s just the distraction!”

Erin burst out of the vent. “All's good creeper! Just detonate and we're outta here!”

“Yay! Thank you Enderman!” Cassandra spun around a look of pure glee on her face.

“Wait, but, you were, HOW DID YOU GET OUT?!” steve yells at the two.

“Is that really what you want to worry about!?” Cassandra laughs. 

“This whole place is about to come tumbling down,” Erin says a small smirk forming on her face. “Oh! Its starting!” they smile.

As the room started to collapse it almost looked as if the two disappeared the second bomb went off.

\--- on the street ---

“That device of yours is amazing!” Cassandra squealed.

“I know. Come on. We still got some cowards to rough up.” Erin says, already walking toward the destination.

\--- back at the base ---

“YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KILL THEM!” herobrine yelled at them, his face forming a grimace.

“They called me fat. What’d you expect me to do?” Cassandra yawned leaning out of her chair tired of being yelled at.

“They said I was a ‘know-it-all, tall-ass’.” Erin added.

Herobrine sighed. Pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you two are going to act like normal teens. I am going to punish you like so. No weapons for 24 hours.”

Cassandra burst out of her chair. “Absolutely fucking not!”  
Erin did the same near immediately. “We saved your fucking ass today! You gave us all instructions to allow ourselves to get kidnapped to lower police persistence! We fucking did that! You are not fucking touching my tech."

“Herobrine I hate to go against you but they’re right. You can’t do that.” the witch stepped forward attempting to calm him down.

“No! They need to learn!” he yelled, causing the room to shake.

“I joined this group of ragtag elites to get fucking revenge. Not be some treated like some weak-ass fucking kid. If I wanted out I can fucking go. Those are the terms I agreed to.” Cassandra yelled getting into Herobrine’s face. She grabbed his neck and pushed him into the wall. A deep scowl settling onto her face.

“You may be the brains behind our operations. But you fail to remember. You are the only one in this room who wasn't raised in a mafia. You are here because you book smart. Nothing else.” Erin said taking out a piece of tech. “And technically, we don't need you. We just need your knowledge, and the ability to apply that knowledge. And I could so easily extract that with this little thing right here.”

“You need to remember your place.” Erin’s older sibling stepped forward.

Cassandra dropped them onto the floor.

Herobrine coughed and stood. “I'm, *cough* sorry! That was *cough* out of line!”

The witch stepped forward and took him out of the room to his.

**Author's Note:**

> idkwhatimdoinggggg


End file.
